Tag: Child Therapy

Behind the Curtain of Sociodrama

Posted on by Susie Munsey

 

 

Written By Elizabeth Scott 

            

I am passionate about exploring hypothetical situations through the lens of Sociodrama, a therapeutic group process that promotes listening, understanding, and empathy.  What is Sociodrama?  It is a live action modality that involves specific methods, all of which allow participants to be actively engaged, heard, and seen.  Sociodrama typically occurs in groups and is completely unscripted.  It is actively experienced through our bodies and minds in order to weigh different options of a given scenario or decision.  It is a process that unites all members of the group through a scaffolded approach to finding solutions and problem solving.   I love the holistic approach of Sociodrama and how it moves beyond just talking and enters the role of full engagement.

            An example of Sociodrama that might apply to family therapy would be a situation in which a family is hypothetically exploring whether to send their child to college out of state rather than the child staying at home and commuting to school.  The director would lead the family through the steps of the drama by beginning the warm-up period of the piece.  Sometimes the enactors or participants volunteer to take on different roles or they might be assigned different roles to portray throughout the drama.  During the main action phase of the piece the protagonist is guided by the director through a series of enactments in order to explore the essential issue in a structured way.  Following the main action there is always a sharing in which each participant has time to process their experience.

            There are many different warm-up exercises that set the stage for the spontaneous nature of Sociodrama and unite the group before delving into the meat of the hypothetical situation.  One example is Twenty-One, a game in which the enactors are challenged to count to twenty-one as a group with only one individual speaking at a time.  If two enactors say a given number at the same time, the leader starts over again with the number one.  This exercise requires concentration and teamwork, a great way to build the energy of a Sociodrama.  Any given warm-up exercise will help establish trust between enactors and will build a secure foundation of communication before the main action begins.

            The power of Sociodrama lies in the “what if?” nature of the form.  The spontaneous, playful elements of Sociodrama paired within a specific structure allows enactors to take risks and learn from each other.  Sociodrama is one of my favorite forms of group therapy because it is so flexible and creative.  It gives each participant a voice and encourages self-awareness through both enactment and reflection.  Sociodrama underlines communication and self-expression as well, which carries over well after a given session is over.

Interested in therapy for your child? Sign up here.

 

 

Embracing Love and Logic, A Parenting Strategy

Posted on by Susie Munsey

 

 

Embracing Love and Logic, A Parenting Strategy

By Elizabeth Scott 

 

            Parents these days are facing more challenges than ever before.  Children are being formally assessed and tested in school more often and from a younger age, with greater academic demands placed upon them.  Children as young as preschool age are asked to complete homework in order to prepare for the rigor of subsequent school grades.  In addition, so many children these days are involved in so many activities outside of school that they are drained of time, energy, and emotional resources.  They have little time for free time or down time.  All of these obstacles make it difficult for children to foster a strong sense of inner self as well as develop resiliency and flexibility.  Parents are faced with the need for tools to engage with their children in a trusting way while still maintaining a sense of structure and balance.

            The Love and Logic Solution is an ideal way to achieve this happy medium because it promotes empathy, love and understanding within a concrete framework.  Children are given choices and adults are able to use discipline as a teaching tool rather than a punishment.  Children learn how to problem solve and find their own voice.

            The Love and Logic Solution encourages parents to embrace one particular phrase that can become their repeated anthem.  These choice words like “this is so hard” allows children to be heard and seen, reinforcing their feelings and frustrations.  In addition, the way parents choose to speak to their children can be slightly altered using a love and logic technique in order to practice more open and productive communication.  For example, instead of making demands like ordering a child to clean their room, a parent can simply let the child know that they are welcome to join the rest of the family once their room is clean, maybe for a treat like dessert.  Small changes add up to bigger changes when it comes to the way language is conveyed and communicated.

            Ultimately parents desire for their children to grow into confident, happy, independent adults who have life skills.  This goal does not happen overnight but instead grows through years of practice and nourishment of the inner self.  The Love and Logic Solution requires a consistent approach on the part of parents but can have long-lasting benefits for children and families. 

To learn more about applying Love and Logic in your home, reach out to our clinicians or sign up for our waitlist.

Encouraging Children to Attend Counseling

Posted on by Susie Munsey

 

 

When children are resistant to counseling, it can be frustrating. You, as the parent, want them to be happy and healthy, and to be able to process their emotions in healthy ways as they grow and experience new life experiences. You feel that counseling will be able to offer them tools and techniques that will help them tackle the trials they are facing. But, they say they say they don’t want to and continue to refuse no matter what you say. This is a completely natural response. It can seem like an intimidating thing to do. Talking to a stranger about your feelings is hard and initially can feel scary. A child refusing to go to therapy, may not be ready to engage in counseling presently, that is normal and ok, but there are a few more things you may decide to explore before moving on. 

Have an open-minded and empathy-filled conversation with your child when they (and you)  are in a calm and open mood. Many kids worry that the reason that their parents want them to go to counseling is because, “I am bad” or “something is wrong with me”. Right off the bat, normalize therapy, by explaining how it is similar to having a doctor to help our bodies. Most people go to the doctor to check up on, get help with and learn about their body. Connect this to how every human also has emotions, thoughts and behaviors and we also all need support with learning about and getting help with our emotional well-being. We don’t go to therapy because “something is wrong with us”. We go to therapy because we are human and we need a team of support to help us through the challenges of life. At Resilience Therapy, we take a strengths-based approach to working with children, youth and families. Throughout therapy the child will learn about and discover their own unique strengths and how those can be built upon to meet their goals and help that child or teen see just how resilient they truly are. 

When kids refuse to go to counseling a parent wonders, “why?”. Sometimes kids can’t exactly express their “why” for the choices they make or the things they say or do. Start with validating their emotions and possible hesitation. Then, rather than asking them “why”, see if you can have them talk about what their thoughts and feelings are surrounding the idea of counseling. What are the pros and cons of going? What do they think will happen if they go? Sometimes giving the example of your “why” can help kids find their own. Do they know why you want them to try counseling (i.e. share your hopes for ways they could feel better or understand themselves better, to learn about mental health together)? Better yet, try to help them uncover why they may want to go to counseling for themselves ( i.e. what goals do they have for their emotions and where could they see themselves benefiting from support). Helping them see their own desire or reasons to engage in counseling will increase their motivation to not only go but to be an active participant.  Perhaps, through these exploratory discussions, they can give you some insight into their world and what is making them reluctant or what they would find beneficial to work on. You may choose to empower them so that they can work on whatever they would find beneficial and create their own goals for therapy, as a nice starting point. From there, the child, parent and therapist can collaborate on a plan. Once you understand their worries and needs, you can address their concerns with facts about the experience that reduces their fears, helpful explanations that increase their understanding and problem solving together to make it a good and beneficial experience for them.

At Resilience Therapy, we love to engage children and youth in fun and creative ways. We often use crafts, games, activities, music and rewards to help children learn about and process their thoughts, emotions and behaviors. We also have fidget toys for the youth to play with while we talk. We find this brings a lot of joy and comfort to the kids we work with. 

We make every effort to help the child and teen feel heard, understood, appreciated, and cared for. They will never be forced to do or say anything in our counseling sessions. This is a non-judgemental and safe space for them, so we will do our best to make sure they feel at ease. We operate under the idea that no client cares what we know until they know that we care, so we always make sure that the first thing we communicate in therapy is the fact that we, as therapists, care about each child, their health and success in accomplishing their goals. We believe the number one success of therapy is the relationship that is developed between the therapist, client and family. We take the time, care and intentionality needed to build an individualized relationship that meets the unique needs of each child.

 

No-Drama Discipline: Proactivity Vs. Reactivity: Emotional Regulation Begins with the Parent

Posted on by Susie Munsey

 

 

The authors of Whole-Brain Child, Siegel M.D. and Bryson Ph.D., bring us more words of wisdom when it comes to raising children as peacefully as possible and teaching them to be well-regulated human beings. They suggest a proactive rather than reactive approach to our children when we see them heading down an emotionally destructive path. Seigel and Bryson tell us that the secret to proactivity is connection. When parents see their children engaging in behaviors that they know will end poorly (ex: yelling, acting aggressively, stomping, aggressive words, etc.), it is their job to intervene. However, the thing to be aware of, as parents, is that some can have a tendency to jump in with their own reactive emotions in those moments. 

You are a model to your children. Your reactions show your kids how they should be handling their emotions, so you need to enter the situation with a calm frame of mind. Your approach will be mirrored by your children.  If you meet their anger with anger, it results in escalation.  They need you to teach and guide from a place of empathy and love.  Entering a situation with a calm frame of mind can be hard to do when you hear a raucous coming from the other room or see your kids stomping around the house using upsetting words and tones. You may want to yell, to tell your kids to settle down, or tell them to go to their room until they calm down, etc. But in order to teach your children to be less reactive, you need to show them how.

In a No-Drama Discipline approach, the best way to do that is by connecting with them rather than jumping straight into discipline. Take a moment to step back, get on their level, listen to them, hold them, help them to feel understood, seen, “felt”. When emotions run high it’s hard to think logically and listen to a lecture or a lesson. They can’t hear you when they’re in that frame of mind (none of us can when we are in that state), and then you may get frustrated when they seem to not listen. When you give them your time and your emotional connection, they become less defensive and more calm. When they are ready to hear what you have to say, you can then have an open conversation about what happened and how the situation can be improved in the future. This is where as a parent you have a window of opportunity to influence your child and teach them valuable lessons on relationships and healthy emotional regulation skills. Let them share their version of the story. Ask them for solution suggestions and create a plan together. Give them a space to feel heard and validated in their emotions, even if their behaviors were poorly chosen. It’s the behavior, not the child that’s the problem (and they’re allowed to have emotions). Allowing your children the time to feel that connection and regulate themselves before a full-on tantrum starts can greatly impact how the situation ends. 

Being proactive versus reactive can stop the fight before it starts, and encourage personal growth and strengthen family relationships. Even if you are a few moments too late, using this connection approach can lessen the impact of negative consequences. A talk can be much more effective than a general time-out, where they spend the whole time thinking about how “mean” you are versus what they did to end up there. At its core, discipline is not about punishment but about teaching our child what they need to get through the ups and downs of life. Being proactive may not be the only tool in our parenting tool belt that we need, but it is a solid foundation for building discipline practices in the family. We can never fully predict what responses we will get. But we can put forth the effort and let our kiddos know that we are there for them unconditionally, not just when they are happy.

Written by Emily Brown

 

Keeping Memories Alive

Posted on by Susie Munsey

 

 

 

Keeping memories alive, especially for our children can help us move toward healing in our grief. Many children share that they are fearful that they will forget their memories with their special person who died. They worry about forgetting some of the little things about their special person like their laugh or how they smell. Some children who are very young may not have any memories but storytelling through anecdotes, watching videos, and looking at photographs of their special person can help them “get to know” their special person and help them feel more connected.

Taking time to talk as a family about special memories each person in the family has with their special person can keep these precious memories fresh in our hearts and minds. Bringing out photo albums, scrapbooks, the special person’s belongings, going through pictures on your phone or computer, and watching home movies can help spark that conversation as well as help the children picture the memories in their minds.

Additionally, writing out stories and memories can help us remember the finest details for years to come. As a family, work on writing a story about your special person that is filled with memories, funny stories, and the little details of your special person that you never want to forget. You may also decide to make a memory box and fill it with your special persons’ favorite things, their scent, clothing items, pictures, music and anything else that would help bring their memory to life. It may be helpful to plan a particular time and place that you and your family will have these “memory moments”. This intentionality of setting aside time can help ensure this takes place in the whirlwind and busyness of life.